I have to do a show for children who have lost a family member and while I have gotten a lot of information from websites on helping children with grief and know of several books to incorporate, I was just wondering if anyone out there has done a similar program.  If so what was effective etc.  I need to help them laugh but yet address some of the issues they are facing as well.  Will be a challenge!

LJ - I've worked with a lot of grieving families over the years.  I've found that whhile everyone goes though a similar process of grieiving everyone is very individual in their grief as well.  To find out how to be the most helpful you have to hear the peoples questions and fears.

Children grieve in the same ways that adults do.  the only things that are different is generally their questions because there is so much they don't know or understand.  Try to get the children interacting with you and your puppets and then address the fears and questions they present.

I know that this will me that you have to be somewhat impromptu, or quite flexible with you program.  The good thing is that most will have similar question and fears:  Loneliness, will we always be sad, depression, anger with God or a doctor or the other parent.

A good place to get information is a one of your local funeral homes.  they work with grieving people everyday.  They usually have literature about children and grief and sometime you will find a director that is very knowledgable and helpful as well.

Hope this is helpful

Jon

BTW:  It's good to get people to laugh and don't be afraid if people cry.  When dealing with grief you have to be comfortable with very tender emotions.  Also be aware that some children will act out so be sure you have other adults there to help if you have problems.  And one othert thing.  You probably notice that children's programs are also hlep with adults ... I'd invite the parents to come as well.  Just a thought.

As Jon said, laughter and tears are both appropriate. For what it's worth, when I do a eulogy in a funeral, I have two main goals, give people an opportunity to laugh, and permission to cry. They usually take me up on both.

Thanks for the ideas.  The parents will be there, the Social Work students who are putting the whole day together have things planned for both the children and the parents, my portion of the program will have everyone together.  I will keep these things in mind as I write my show.  THANKS

I wanted to let all of you know that the program for the Grief Camp that I did went very well.  The social worker and hospice workers were very pleased and will be recommending my program to other hospice grief camps.  I posted a few pictures too.

If you would be willing to share, I would love to know some of the things that you did and shared with the kids.

It is a bit hard to explain without writing out the whole script, but I will do my best.  I had done research on how children grieve and things that people typically say to children that do NOT help them at all.  So I the story was that one of my puppets had just lost her favorite grandma and I talked to my other puppets to come up with ideas on how to help her.  Some of those were the "wrong" ideas (she fell asleep, she went on a long trip, pretend it didn't happen etc).  Then eventually we came up with some good ideas which were things the children there could also do.  Making a paper chain listing special things about that person, finding someone to talk to - even a teddy bear or finger puppet, remembering a special time with that person every time you find a penny lying on the ground.  I used magic tricks to illustrate some of those ideas throughout the show too.  At the end I gave each of them a finger puppet and a penny. I am happy with the way it all came together.  The workers said that the children had to fill out evaluations and most of them wrote that the puppet show was their favorite part. (My husband says I should sell the script - still thinking about that one!)

(My husband says I should sell the script - still thinking about that one!)

I believe I would be a customer if you decide to go that direction. Thanks for the info! It sounds like you did a great job.

Awesome stuff LJ the Penny part melted my heart.

It's programs like these that really make difference to a child's life.

Well done and keep up the excellent work and ideas.

Regards Bret.

Thanks Henry and Chris!  It was a blessing to me and I just got in the mail today a letter of recommendation which included some of the comments the children made and I got tears in my eyes!  That really is what I wanted to do - touch their hearts - I am grateful God allowed me to have the opportunity!